The first time I saw her, Isobel was naked, not totally naked, but adorned [...]]]> Nikita blogged about Ink that makes you think yesterday.  She jogged my memory about a Guinness World Record holder, Isobel Varley, as World’s Most Tattooed Senior Woman.  Yeah!  For REAL.  My friend cc found her personal website that contains her story.

The first time I saw her, Isobel was naked, not totally naked, but adorned with her art.  She had some more interesting body modifications, rings and weights hanging from her hoo hoo.

She’s my hero, unafraid of expressing herself and proud of her ongoing journey of self-discovery.  So what if she’s 70+.

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010

© 2010, Miss Kink. All rights reserved.

The Hanky Code is a traditional form of signaling to others what your sexual preferences and interests are. Gay men used this code to communicate with each other [...]]]> Did you ever wonder what people’s comments mean when they see someone with hankies hanging out of their pocket?  Those hankies could be codes, gay sexual preference codes.

The Hanky Code is a traditional form of signaling to others what your sexual preferences and interests are. Gay men used this code to communicate with each other in the noisy and distracting environment of gay bars. Although not as widely used these days, it is still a worthwhile resource and is, among those who know, a great conversation starter.

To TWINK CODES

© 2010, Miss Kink. All rights reserved.

What I like about Dea is that she is a dichotomy converged into a provocative package.

Here’s one part, taken from her profile, and [...]]]> Grab a glass of pinot noir and have a listen to the life and times of a way cool groovy chic who happens to be a professional dominatrix, Domina Dea.

What I like about Dea is that she is a dichotomy converged into a provocative package.

Here’s one part, taken from her profile, and the other is on the podcast.

PARADOXES AND IRONIES:

I have a great opinion of myself when I’m not filled with self-loathing. I love men who are wolves, but can’t stand pigs. I adore muscular men, but don’t ask me to go to the gym.

WORDS:

I love the word “FUCK.” I love its compactness and all its uses. I love fucking, and I love to be fucked-but it’s hard to find the right fucker to do it with. I also adore the Greek word “Logos” & “fag” and those that identify with it.

TOUGH THINGS TO FIND:

1. Erudite men who aren’t windbags
2. Men who are strong and quiet
3. Beautiful women who aren’t bitches
4. Slaves that aren’t clingy
5. People worthy of trust
6. New writers who genuinely move me
7. Men who will leave after making me come
8. A Sense of Adventure
9. Days when I measure up to my own potential

THINGS I’D FUCK FOR:

1. A trip to Germany and tickets to watch all four of Wagner’s Ring Operas
2. A return to my starry eyed youth
3. Love

After you’ve read all this I bet you are wondering where the “groovy” part is. You’ll have to listen . . . NOW!

© 2010, Miss Kink. All rights reserved.

I just had to grab this list.  It came from Master Z of Chicago’s website on what type of person he DOESN’T seek.

PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU…

... Have the brains of a banana.

… Cry because it’s Monday, Cry because it’s Tuesday, Cry because it’s Wednesday, Cry because it’s Thursday, Cry [...]]]>

I just had to grab this list.  It came from Master Z of Chicago’s website on what type of person he DOESN’T seek.

PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU…

... Have the brains of a banana.

… Cry because it’s Monday, Cry because it’s Tuesday, Cry because it’s Wednesday, Cry because it’s Thursday, Cry because it’s Friday, Cry because it’s Raining, Cry because sun is shining, etc. etc.

…Are a swinger pretending to be a slave.

…Think a seven course meal is a Big Mac and a six-pack of Bud.

…Think sexual foreplay is a half hour of being begged.

… Have less teeth than your last Halloween pumpkin.

…Are an alcoholic or drug addict!

…Are currently out on probation for DUI, and get arrested for DUI again!

… Are facing time in jail.

… Are in a 12-Step program but blame everyone around you for your problems.

…Are 37 years old with ID to prove it, but you look more like 67 and aging fast.

…Have upper dentures that don’t fit right and your lower dentures are missing altogether.

…Feel that “gainfully employed” includes turning tricks for cash with ads on Craig’s List.

…Are only interested in becoming a slave so that you are not homeless, get free meals and “all the snacks you can eat”.

…Have been given a “pet” name of Daabor and are not smart enough to know it is an acronym for “Dumb As A Box Of Rocks”.

…LIVE FOR DRAMA !!! Over the past years I have owned 2 live-in slaves wherein I have earned a PHD in DRAMA! …I don’t need anymore!

…Have HIV, AIDS, Any STD, Any form of Hepatitis, Herpes or you think that the thick yellow discharge you have after an orgasm is normal. These are gifts I would prefer you not share with me.

…Have recently escaped from, are presently living in, or should be living in a mental health facility.

…Have been given a full frontal lobotomy and it didn’t help much.

… You have been prescribed mental health drugs that you refuse to take.

…Have only one limb on your Family Tree.

…Cannot spell, punctuate, capitalize, create new paragraphs or use periods when you write to me.

…Do not know the difference between a Dominant and a Dominate.

…Had 50 candles on your last birthday cake and your online profile shows your age as 29.

…Are only looking for an online or cyber “Master” only.

…IM every new Dom who enters the online chat room you are in.

…Are currently collared or under consideration to 3 or more Doms at this time.

…Dream of the day you will become my 24/7 slave and you have 6 kids and 2 jobs.

…Think aliens brought you here in their mother ship.

…Are waiting for your mother ship to return.

…Think getting locked overnight in your outhouse is bondage.

…Your bald spot is bigger than Mr Clean’s

...Think picking your nose and flicking the burgers is part of your hygiene

…Think that a dangling cigarette from the corner of your mouth is a fashion accessory

…Think Moby Dick is a venereal disease

…Were recently the featured segment on COPS or America’s Most Wanted.

…Think 401K is a really big bra size.

…Your mommy has to drive you to school.

…Are only interested in the sexual or physical aspects of D/s and BDSM.

…Think the only thing servitude means is sucking cock on command.

…Have spent time in prison for any reason other than being employed there.

…Think the “Breakfast of Champions” consists of tequila and cornflakes.

…Want to tell me how wet your pussy is and how hard your nipples are.

…Pick your nose with more care than you pick your Master’s.

…Can braid the hair in your armpits, legs or pussy.

…Want to know my penis size in the first 5 minutes of chat.

…Think you should kneel to the computer if an online Dom tells you to.

…Want to eyeball me on a web cam.

…Want to become my 24/7 slave because the food’s better here than at the half-way house.

…Sunbathe nude and vultures start to circle above you.

…Think that Old Spice is a food marinate

…Were not born with the common sense of a doorknob...Think that “Old  Spice” is  a food marinade.

…Stare at a can of frozen orange juice because it says “concentrate

…Have an IQ that is less than your shoe size.

…Are under 18 or on your mommy’s aol account.

…Your mother and father are first cousins.

…You are so unfriendly that your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get the family dog to play with you.

…Send out pics of yourself that were taken 15 years and 50 pounds ago.

…Smell like a week old catfish that’s been out in the sun.

…Your screen name says you are a female slave and you have a cock and balls.

…You think the ankle bracelet you must wear due to your house arrest is a fashion accessory.

…Have no sense of humor, especially about this list.

© 2010, Miss Kink. All rights reserved.

Without impugning their sincerity, those who offer a miracle cure for one’s [...]]]>

THE FIVE FALLACIES ABOUT SM

Miss Kink referenced this article for those who have come out to their friends and family and need some help articulating their kink.  Dr. Brame goes into detail clarifying the differences between fact and fallacy.

1. It can be cured.

Without impugning their sincerity, those who offer a miracle cure for one’s sexual nature generally do more harm than good. Although helping professionals may have good intentions, on questions of taboo sex, they often are just as misinformed as everyone else. Attempts at cures aren’t based on tried and true methods. Only a small handful of graduate psychology programs offer a comprehensive curruiculum on human sexuality; training opportunities are scarce.

There is also no scientific proof that people can be successfully “cured” of kinky desires. Indeed, attempts at cures have universally failed, and clients have been emotionally devastated when the promised relief never came. At best, clients may learn how better to repress or sublimate their needs. But learning to bottle up your feelings does not cure you of those feelings. Instead, repression usually creates a whole new set of problems.

Enlightened helping professionals do not offer cures for kinky desires. Instead, they work with the client to find morally acceptable, emotionally positive ways of living with their desires.

2. Perversions are caused by trauma in childhood.

Despite the advances of medical science in fields such as genetics, there has been little forward progress in sexuality research. Among other things we can’t explain is why and how sexual perversions are formed. To date, there has been neither any organic or genetic proof to explain fetishes or sadomasochism. Nor is there any proof that nurture or experience are absolute causes. The most popular theory is that a combination of genetic predisposition and life experience shape our sexual identities.

This doesn’t rule out the possibility that science may one day find a genetic cause or a predisposition in some individuals to be kinky; or that we may learn much more about the cause and effect relationship between early childhood experiences and sexual orientation. But for now, that proof does not exist and to attribute perversions to any one cause is, at best, misguided.

3. People with kinky desires have psychological problems.

Yes and no.

There is no proof that people with unusual sexual fetishes or desires are less socially functional than other people. The exceptions are those people whose urges fall on the extreme end of the range (for example, a masochist who inflicts health- threatening wounds on him or herself; a foot fetishist who steals shoes to satisfy his compulsion) and who are too disturbed to exercise the “safe, sane, mutually consensual” moral guidelines of practicising BDSMers.

As a group, kinky people are no more or less likely to be troubled than people who are turned on only by straight sex. It is no secret, however, that people with sexual kinks tend to seek out counseling because they are confused about their feelings or unable to hold together relationships which do not involve kinky sex. This “clinical drift” skews the perception of kinky people as people who generally have problems with relationships.

There is something else to consider. Simply put: no one wants to feel all alone in the world. No one wants to be rejected; no one wants to feel unlovable. Yet, most kinky people grow up believing that no one else shares our needs and feelings- -or that those who do are “sick.” Morever, kinky people may encounter rejection or hostile criticism from others when they express their desires. It is hardly suprising that this may, at times, make them depressed. A fetishist may, by nature, be balanced and happy; but if he or she is routinely ostracized and derided for his fetish, you can be sure it will create some psychological problems.

4. Kinky people can’t form good relationships.

As noted above, kinky people do tend to seek out counseling, particularly when they are having problems with their partners over their sexual needs. But then, sex and relationship problems are what motivates most people to go into therapy. The big difference is that when “vanilla” relationships fail, people accept it as a common problem of modern life. When kinky relationships fall apart, however, people automatically assume that the one with unusual sexual desires is to blame.

The fact is that when a relationship fails because of someone’s kinks, the kinky partner bears only one-half of the responsibility: the other half falls to the partner who is unwilling or unable to explore the kinky partner’s sexual needs. It is a compatibility issue.

In other words, kinky people are bad partners only for people who cannot accept their kinks. Those whose partners are sympathetic to or who share their sexual desires, are as likely as anyone else to form loving, long-term, committed relationships.

5. Kinky people can’t get aroused by “regular” sex.

Not only can they get aroused by it, many of them never have anything BUT regular sex.

Although we tend to think of kinky people as the leather- clad denizens of secret clubs, or the professional dominatrices on daytime talk-shows, the vast majority of those involved in kink are stable, middle-class people, often married, often with children, who have kinky desires they have kept secret from their partners. Despite their desires to explore their true sexual identities, for a range of personal reasons, they remain with their straight partners and enjoy a very ordinary, productive sex life (often for decades) with them.

There are always exceptions: there are fetishists who are only aroused when the object of their fetish is present (indeed, the American Psychiatric Association defines a fetishist as someone who must have the fetish object to become aroused). However anecdotal information from fetishists themselves suggests that the vast majority of them are people who achieve their greatest satisfaction when the object is present–but who can and do achieve orgasm when it is absent.

Another analogy: many gay men, throughout history, have fathered children. Although sex with women may be considerably less exciting to them than sex with men, they are physically quite able to perform in bed with a woman. It just doesn’t bring them the most happiness and, given the choice, they choose male partners. It is the same for kinky people: they may derive their deepest satisfaction from kinky sex, but most can have “straight” experiences without any performance problems–and sometimes with great pleasure.

Finally, a fair number of kinky people use bondage, spanking, watersports, crossdressing and other BDSM activities as foreplay. The culmination is often straight sex.

© 2010, Miss Kink. All rights reserved.

Women’s clothing have always been controversial. Trying to balance comfort and beauty has never been the goal of top designers. Corsets, today, are a choice and a fashion statement. They also don’t necessarily mean body modification, by way of cinching the waist, although some go for this unhealthy [...]]]> Corsets and Pin-ups | A Fashion History Lesson

Women’s clothing have always been controversial. Trying to balance comfort and beauty has never been the goal of top designers. Corsets, today, are a choice and a fashion statement. They also don’t necessarily mean body modification, by way of cinching the waist, although some go for this unhealthy practice. As a wise commentator said, on this youtube clip:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Mid 20th century, cup sizes and under wire would be developed in bras, which- accompanied by the girdle, slip and teddy- became the preferred under garment. Aside for a brief period in the late 1940’s and early 1950’s, with Dior’s New Look, corsets wouldn’t come back until the 1980’s. The movie industry, of course, doesn’t really care for practicality:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Can you name this movie?

© 2010, Miss Kink. All rights reserved.

The Leather Archives & Museum (LA&M) is committed to collecting, preserving and providing access to the contributions, experiences, and histories of women in leather, BDSM, fetish, and related lifestyles. The Women’s Leather History Project (WLHP) represents the LA&M’s ongoing commitment to making the [...]]]> Leather Archives & Museum Announces The Women’s Leather History Project

The Leather Archives & Museum (LA&M) is committed to collecting, preserving and providing access to the contributions, experiences, and histories of women in leather, BDSM, fetish, and related lifestyles. The Women’s Leather History Project (WLHP) represents the LA&M’s ongoing commitment to making the diverse voices of women in leather visible and heard.

The WLHP will collect artifacts, stories, and other items that represent the experience of all women (straight, gay, bisexual,transsexual, transgender, women of color). The resulting collections will be featured in future exhibitions at the Leather Archives & Museum. Please join the WLHP and the LA&M and ring in the New Year by becoming a part of this urgent and unprecedented project of collecting and protecting Women’s Leather History!

The WLHP is a multi-year project. Our target fund-raising goal for 2010 is $10,000, and we hope to collect an additional $2,500/year for each additional year. Donations to the WLHP will only be used for program items related to the
collection and exhibition of women’s leather history at the LA&M. Your donations will fund the hiring of a professional curator, the creation of museum exhibits at the LA&M, and the acquisition and storage of women’s leather resources including:

Papers
Personal histories – oral, film, and written, art and visual resources
Media – books, magazines, films, and digital media
Artifacts – organizational and personal.

Contribute to the collections here:

Leather Archives Contributions

We will begin accepting donations for this exciting public history project on January 1, 2010. The Leather Archives & Museum is a 501(c)3 charitable organization, therefore any contribution you make to this project is tax deductible in accordance with IRS regulations.

For more information on sexuality culture, erotic collections, and history at the Leather Archives and Museum located on the northiside of Chicago.

Leather Archives & Museum
6418 N. Greenview Avenue
Chicago, IL 60626
773.761.9200

© 2010, Miss Kink. All rights reserved.

NUMBER OF NOTCHES: 35,000 CAREER HIGHLIGHTS: Eight children by four women. According to documentary filmmaker Ian Halperin, a Cuban official named “Ramon” claimed that Fidel Castro slept with an astonishing (though mathematically questionable) 35,000 women. Castro’s security would comb Havana’s [...]]]> The Greatest Studs of All Time – The Sexy Beast.

© 2010, nikita. All rights reserved.

TENGA, Japanese disposable masturbators called onacups, are designed to look more like grooming products than sex toys.

Onacups have been around for awhile and were sold in cheap sex stores in Japan. Tenga has taken the onacup idea much further by changing [...]]]> It might take two to tango but only one to TENGA

TENGA, Japanese disposable masturbators called onacups, are designed to look more like grooming products than sex toys.

Onacups have been around for awhile and were sold in cheap sex stores in Japan. Tenga has taken the onacup idea much further by changing the design of the onacup to make it stylish and modern. In fact, it would blend right in on a shelf next to some hair gel and toothpaste.

But, the products aren’t just about looks, TENDA really put their heart and soul into making the inside of the product much more pleasurable by designing them to recreate various sexual positions and acts…complete with sucking sounds via a special valve on some models.

“TENGA’s don’t get tired. They don’t get headaches or PMS, and they don’t stop working if a storm knocks your electricity out. With a TENGA in hand, YOU control the experience – when, where, and how.”

In short, these single use masturbators are cheaper than a date, there’s no need for foreplay, and they are ready when you are.  Hey these sound like the same benefits of a hitachi magic want for women!

I’d love to see the product testing department.

Click here to view the embedded video.

© 2010, Miss Kink. All rights reserved.